One of the things I loved most about the late spiritual guru Dr. Wayne Dyer was his rejection of the widely-held belief that “seeing is believing.”
Dyer called bologna on this belief by ascertaining that, while accurate, it’s a very limiting (and rather obvious) view of perceiving what’s real in this world.
Of course you can see that your dreams (a new business, home, relationship with your children or waistline) came true when they’re staring you right in the face. But what actually helps those dreams come true long before they’re present and accounted for in your life?
Now, this is what I think we all need to know.
In his book Wishes Fulfilled, Dyer suggests that if you want to see your dreams come true, then you must, first and foremost, believe they are possible. In other words, the opposite of what you’ve always believed is true. Seeing isn’t believing.
Believing is seeing.
If you believe that you’re worthy of landing that job you’ve always wanted, moving to a new neighborhood or breaking up with that deadbeat boyfriend of yours, the odds of your pipe dream becoming a reality dramatically increase. Why? Because by believing that the life you really want is within the realm of possibility, your brain subconsciously communicates to every bone in your body that your dream state isn’t a dream, but a reality just waiting to happen.
Sound a little too woo-woo to be true?
Well, in case you’re still stuck in the “seeing is believing” camp, here are two examples from my own life when believing my dreams were possible actually helped them become a reality.
Searching for a new nanny
When it came to childcare for our kids, our previous method of relying on French au pairs eventually ran its course after 10 years when the language barrier became a big barrier to helping with homework. Because fourth grade is no joke, you know.
Before writing the job description for a new childcare position, I closed my eyes and imagined myself living in the ideal dream state with a nanny who helped with responsibilities far beyond carpool pickup, packing lunches and studying for science tests. In this la-la land of mine, the nanny would help with errands, drop clothes at the dry cleaners and, hell — even leave fresh, healthy meals in the fridge for the weekend.
A girl can dream, right?
I chose to believe this reality was possible and that’s the way I wrote the job description —including all the nitty-gritty details of tasks and chores my husband and I were longing to get off our plates.
When sharing my dream state with others, my vision was often questioned — my husband insisted I was setting myself up for disappointment, while other mothers wished me well with a little sarcastic side-eye, “Yeah, good luck with that. Let me know how it goes.”
Well, people…it worked.
I put my pimped-out job description into the world and lo and behold, our next-door neighbor introduced us to the perfect young woman who didn’t bat an eye at the job description. In fact, she was excited by it!
The point here is that I believed (wholeheartedly) that finding this type of woman was possible. While I’d never met her, in my mind I imagined — without a shadow of a doubt — what our lives would look like if we found her. In other words, I believed she was possible and now I see her every day. Yay!
Searching for new ways to spread joy
As you know, I recently finished writing my first book, Slay Like a Mother. After finalizing the manuscript, I began plotting and planning how to get it in the hands of as many mothers as possible — not to add change to my pocket, but to see change in the world. Specifically, to reduce the doubt, guilt and shame so many mothers pile on top of their already full plates.
While a lot of mothers will buy this book online or in a store, I feel called to also reach the mothers who might not have the time, energy or financial means to invest in a $25 self-help book for themselves.
So, I began closing my eyes and envisioning a scenario in which some mothers wouldn’t have to seek out my book at all because it would be given to them as a gift. I could see the solution as clear as day — a gorgeous baby shower gift set complete with products for the baby and a self-help book for the mother. I mean why do most gift sets only focus on the baby anyway? Let’s not forget about the woman who gave life to another human being and could use a little extra love and support.
Anyway, here again, I chose to believe that the book-as-gift idea was possible…and lo and behold, it’s going to happen and I’ll be able to tell you all about it soon!
Along the way of making this dream a reality, lots of people told me it wasn’t possible — that the companies involved would say no. But they didn’t say no, they said yes. Because they believe in helping mothers as much as I do.
The key to Dr. Wayne Dyer’s idea that “believing is seeing” is that you must first choose to believe.
When it comes to any dream of yours, you must make the conscious decision to believe it’s possible — with every ounce of your being. And most importantly, you must believe that you are worthy of that dream coming true.
If you want to see change happen in your life — whether it’s a supercharged nanny, a more fulfilling career or fewer soccer games on Saturdays — you’ll never see those dreams come true without first believing they’re possible and that you’re worthy of those possibilities.
It’s amazing to think how much control we have over our own lives, isn’t it? Starting today, what can you start believing is possible in order to see it come true in the future?