I’m a big believer that moms can learn a lot from dads.
In my research with moms, I hear the typical, and often stereotypical, list of complaints about husbands…the most common of which are how they can’t remember to take out the trash, rarely recognize your new hairstyle, and when sent to the grocery store with a full grocery list, they come back with ice cream and beer.
You’ve heard all of this before.
However, if you’re willing to look beneath the surface of the things that annoy you about the opposite sex, perhaps you’ll find a few things that might inspire you.
I’ll give you a handful of examples to get you started, and I encourage you to find more when looking at the men you interact with in your own life. We all know that men are from Mars, and women are from Venus, and here are a few examples when Mars definitely wins.
1. Their inner voice is critical but not condescending.
During my workshops with parents, I spend a lot of time talking about the mean voice we all have in our heads. During a recent workshop, I asked the group a simple question: “What’s the last terrible thing you said to yourself?” The women in the room wasted no time sharing. In a matter of minutes, they created a laundry list of horrible self-talk: “You’re an idiot for forgetting to send your son’s snack to school with him today”, “You have bags under your eyes, and you look exhausted”, “You never use your gym membership, so you’re paying to be lazy.” Horrifying, I know.
After the women had finished unloading their thoughts, I was curious to hear how the men felt. How did the voices in their heads differ from the examples the women just shared? The men in the room summarized two very important and very distinct differences:
- The voice in their head is critical but not condescending.
- The voice in their head analyzes the situation, not necessarily their performance in the situation. For example, a man would say to himself “Dude, you really need to get some more sleep.” or “You haven’t used your gym membership in a while, time to get back to it.”
Sounds luxurious, right? Can you imagine having such a kind voice in your head? Continue Reading
