Today I find myself staring out the window of an Amtrak train traveling from NYC to Richmond, enjoying the view, and breathing a sigh of relief after just submitting the final manuscript for my first book.
Let’s just say I’ve been waiting to exhale that particular exhale for a long ass time.
As the beautiful roads, bridges, and trees blow past me in a blur, a profound level of gratitude comes over me — not because I wrote an entire book, but because at one point in time I convinced myself that I could.
There’s a difference.
Sometimes I think we get too caught up in the kinds of accomplishments that we can see, touch, taste, and smell — like a new book, promotion, house, car, or boyfriend. Don’t get me wrong; I’m proud as hell that I put my entire life on hold and lived, ate, breathed, slept, and typed my way to 75,000 beautiful words that will change the lives of mothers around the world.
But I’m even more proud of the fact that whenever I got down in the dumps about whether I could complete this herculean task, I made the conscious decision to believe that I could.
Take, for example, the fact that ten months ago I was sitting on this same train, in the same seat under very different circumstances. Let me take you back to that day.
I’d just left my very first meeting with my big-time literary agent and let’s just say the meeting hadn’t gone as I’d hoped. I thought he wanted to get together, shower me with congratulations, well wishes, and plans for our future success together. Come to find out; he’d invited me to NYC to let me know that while he believed in me as a person, he wouldn’t be able to sell my book proposal to a major publisher as it was written because it wasn’t strong enough, unique enough or sharp enough.
Guess I read that meeting invite wrong.
After sweating under the collar, stripping off my blazer, repeatedly asking, “Is it hot in here?” (I’m certain it was not), the two of us came up with a brand-new theme for the book proposal, and 90 minutes later I was on a train back to Richmond.
Crying my eyes out. Continue Reading